I’m currently in the process of deep cleaning the house in preparation for my stem cell transplant (scheduled for Feb 23 as long as insurance works out) and yesterday I found a bunch of photos that weren’t in an album. So I sat down and put them in. Adding them to an already existing album ( of which I many) I was happily reliving all the moments I captured of my daughter, sister and husband and their kids, friends etc, moments that I had forgotten but easily remembered when I saw the picture. As I put another photo in the album I realized that me, always behind the lens but rarely in front of it are not in very many of these photos. I was instantly sucker punched in my chest. Given my current situation (having had cancer for 2 years) and the possibility of not living as long as I would like this hit me heavy and hard. I started crying… realizing that if my family members look at these albums they will see few moments about me. So..this is not to be a depressing post but a very long winded way of sending a message to all those folks like myself GET in front of the lens.. yes you may not be at your best. For instance you may have just woken up, or have no makeup on, bad hair day, bad weight day/year, mouth full, too silly or too serious most of which I can say that I have had many a pic not taken for these reasons. However we all have to remember that most of these times are precious moments that as I witnessed yesterday (even the few “bad” ones of me) when you look back on, your family, friends etc won’t see those flaws. They will only see those indescribable instances caught and remember what was going on at that time. I can honestly say that from here on out I will get in front of the camera a hell of a lot more then before. I want to leave my family and friends a pictorial history of my life because our mind can forget but the photograph does not..
