“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company… a church… a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our Attitudes.”
~ Charles R. Randell ~
It is Monday morning.. and what a beautiful morning it is.. dry air, cooler temps and the sun is shining. Though the days are in some ways getting more tiresome and difficult as the chemotherapy go goes I know that in one month they will be done for now and I can take a much needed break from them. I would love to have just two days in a row where I feel great. Right now that is my goal.. currently it is not the way and I know that what I’m going through now is part of the process to beat this cancer but it is growing very tiresome to not feel good everyday. Some days it can vary by hour on how I feel other days its the whole day that I’m sick.. I never thought I would be happy to see the end of summer but this year, this time I am.. even if I have to do more later or something different that won’t be fun at least I will have a little bit of time where hopefully I can catch my breath so to speak.. course I never count on anything as it can all change at the drop of a hat. All I ask if for two days in a row of feeling really good, that means no symptoms at all, no fatigue, nausea, pain, numbness in my fingers, eye sight will be back to normal (forgot to mention my eyesight has gotten much worse, evidently the chemo meds can change the shape of the lens of your eyes therefore distorting things). I think having at least two days of this will help restore my mental and physical well being.
While I’m looking forward to August 25 which will be my last chemo treatment for this round I sit here and relish in the cool breezes that are coming in the windows for they help to push away the negative and calm my being. I’m still trying to live in the moment but I’m starting to see a little light at the end of the tunnel even if the end is actually just a bend in the road that goes onto a new treatment plan, I’m ok with it.
~ peace ~