Third one down…

Here I am after just being hooked up to my meds but before they really kicked in…

So I started this post after I got home Wednesday from my third chemo treatment.. but didn’t feel well enough to write. Figured I would work on it Thursday morning. That turned out to be a bust as well.. and no pun here intended. I couldn’t sleep Wednesday night due to having a massive headache and I had my hand across my chest and while there for some reason I felt a lump, a rather large on my right breast, about the size of a 1/2 dollar. Needless to say I got a bit freaked out. I felt around the rest of my breast and went and did the same to the left one. No other lumps other then this huge one located at about 11:00 on the right one. So.. I try to remain calm.. thinking ok.. maybe the Lymphoma went into my breast and I”m feeling a lymph node there. Then I thought shit.. what if I have breast cancer.. I have had scares before and have had two biopsies and a tumor removed all of which were benign but they put me on their high risk category. So now I’m thinking are you kidding me.. am I know also going to get breast cancer? So I called my oncologists office, person on call calls me back and says it’s probably nothing, lymphoma shouldn’t spread while I”m being treated and a breast cancer tumor wouldn’t come on that fast. My GP MD did an exam in February and I was fine. Person on call recommend I call my oncologist in the morning to be seen just to be safe. This now caused me to not be able to sleep well for the rest of the night as you can imagine. The next morning (yesterday) I called my oncologist and they had me come in right away. An hour later me and my sleepy daughter were driving back down to Portland and mind you because I just had my chemo treatment yesterday I wasn’t feeling all that great however the scare of what the hell this lump was helped motivate me. Long story short after a 7 hour day down in Portland (which I have to say they did also find another lump in my left breast) and many tests they determined that my right breast with the huge lump was just a fluid mass that should dissipate on it’s own or if not I will have to go in to have it drained (no fun but better then the alternative) and that the lump on the left was just a cyst.. nothing to be concerned about. As you can imagine I was quite relieved.. Hayley and I ended up stopping in Portland for some great pizza at a place called Enzo to treat ourselves.

This week has been long.. tiring and very stressful and continues to be so today. I know there will be more times like this and while it’s scary, daunting and exhausting I know that the good days which are few but never the less really do help me on these ones.

I’m hoping to write another post later.. I feel like I have so much to say.. so many photos to share but it’s just so hard sometimes getting to sit down at the computer due to being sick or spending two days at my oncologist office.. also.. I usually try to edit what I’ve written to make sure it comes out ok but I can barely type long enough now without having to go back thru so forgive any miss-spellings and or grammatical errors. I really just wanted to get some thoughts down today.. it really is very helpful to me.. this writing about the cancer and I thank you for allowing me to share it with you.

~ peace~